today we are going to louisville to watch
my brother graduate, & then we are all going to eat chinese food, & then my mother & i will head back into the flat grey north.
last night i sat up very late in the window seat in the cabin (i had made up a little bed there for myself, fitted sheet & all, the whole nine), waiting to call bean & then not calling her. instead i just read hundreds of pages of cryptonomicon & bit each nail on my right, but not my left, hand down to the quick.
also i have this fantastic very black bruise on my right calf, & no idea how i got it. this morning in the bath i thought, "if only i had a lover who was a forensics-y medical examiner, s/he could tell me exactly what kind of blow i suffered & how long ago." if only!
