it's entirely possible that
jeff doesn't exist, he just shows up in my head to point things out to me.
from today:
i said, "i wish i had a laptop."
jeff said, "you have a nice computer."
i said, "but if i had a laptop, i could take it places."
jeff said, "oh yes. yes. all those places you go."
i said, "well, i could maybe take it to the living room. you know."
i said, "bean said my type is the two-legs type! i can't beleive it!"
jeff said, "well, you are easily attracted to a lot of people."
i said, "but still! i have high aesthetic standards!"
jeff said, "i think you fall in love every day."
i said some things about having wanted to take logic at kenyon, & how my friends discouraged me from it "because they think that i am alogical & that i would be ruined by being taught to think logically, but they don't see that i am really hyperlogical & that �"
jeff said, "i think if you took logic you would be very difficult to talk to."
i said, "i don't think so, i disagree with the concept that i am already difficult to talk to & you see �"
jeff said, "i would find you very difficult & annoying to talk to."
[mischka will tell you that i am terrible at transcribing conversations. he is mostly right, but i don't care. yesterday all afternoon & evening i recited over to myself this one sentence dr b____ said at lunch, because i wanted to remember it correctly. the sentence was, "we'd go out at night, it'd be lit up like day."]
