i like to show up for work plenty early for two reasons:
1. the earlier i get here, the less likely it is that i have to walk past any protestors to get inside.
2. i can walk around singing at the top of my lungs.
1. the protestors worry me. i feel visible, exposed. everyone else i work with looks outside at the picketers lined up with their rosaries & says, "why do they do this? why don't they just go home?" & i wonder if i am the only activist here. i am fond of saying out loud that protesting is the sexiest form of activism & that real activism ("real activism"?!?) is more quiet & more huge. i can say that & i can complain about the picketers we get, but i am still the same person who has stood outside government buildings with big posters, who is helping to organize a big counter-protest for an anti-choice event in a couple of weeks. i sit on my hands. i don't say anything. i watch them say the rosary. they are mostly men. i get ridiculously upset when i know they are saying "blessed are you among women." i can't tell if it is like hans hoffmann telling lee krasner, "you don't paint like a woman," or if it is like saying, "we have you we have you we have you."
2. i am safe inside & i am wearing my headphones & singing along at the top of my lungs. i can't sing. i can't sing. i keep the volume up & sing over it. the best parts are in the stairwell (me to mischka: "it's my new favorite thing, going up & down the stairs"). i hear this great echo all around me, covering me, like proof that i am inside & protected & no one is going to get at me. i sing like a shield.
