dreams. other people.i am always in l_____'s dreams. i don't know what place i have in the subconscious of a woman who listens to adult-contemporary radio & who really really likes those sandwiches that are not sandwiches but are really poor-quality tortillas wrapped around all the same things that are in a regular boring sandwich.
"you were headless. don't be mad."
"did i have my head to carry around with me at least?"
"you carried your head around. & sometimes you would put it on. & we were together looking for something & you had this glow or this aura like all around you. you were just beautiful. & then you would put your head on sometimes, i don't know why. you said you had a lot of scarring at the neck" [vague neck-ish gesture] "i don't know, maybe cancer or something, all these scars at the neck and mouth. & there was this wooden thing that stuck out of your neck when you were headless. it was like this high" [gesture: like so: hands held ten inches apart, one palm above the other] "and from the side it looked maybe like a face, but it was thin, it was narrow. & it was like a key. i think when you put your head on, it fit onto it. & you were just so beautiful."
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:me. "so i should probably tell you that when i was in kentucky having all those make-out dreams: i dreamt i was making out with you in some bar."
chris. "well, how was i?"
me. "what?"
chris. "i'd like to know how dream-me was."
me. "oh, you were pretty good. it was just some bar, i don't know."
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:i dreamt jeff cut off all my hair. i sank to my knees & sobbed under my smooth scalp.
"how could you do this to me?" i asked.
"but ericka, i look so damned good with no hair."
"yes, you do, you do look very good with no hair. but why did you do this to me?"
"but i look so damned good."
