the sun has gone down. so: the year is new.
today at work i found myself on the phone to several area hospitals trying to see how full their emergency rooms were, so that a recently-immigrated-from-china, absolutely terrified, too-weak-to-stand woman would be able to see a doctor because last night she maybe started her third miscarriage in as many years & her husband, who had all the english between them, kept saying, "we want a baby so much," & my heart just broke out for them. the ultrasound i gave her was inconclusive, me standing there helpless in my hundertwasser-esque dress with her lying on the table looking terrified & pale, & her husband trying to tell me that she was "losing the blood" because it is september. & on the phone, the first woman-at-a-hospital i talked to gave me the number for what turned out to be a weight loss clinic, when i called it.
on the way home i hid from everyone. i hid in infinite jest which i borrowed from chris although he hasn't even read it: which you can tell because he hasn't peeled the price-sticker off the front. i like the physicality of reading a book that is so heavy it keeps itself open on the table. with it in my lap on the bus i feel fortressed, fortified.
oh: for peace in the new year.
y como el se�or la vi�, compadeci�se de ella, y le dice: No llores. :::.::lc7:13
