why i miss video:
� i actually like to carry a lot of equipment with me. i like the cords & the battery packs. but besides the geek stuff like that, i also really like the feeling of bearing my work through the crowd, through the streets. carrying what is important to me, as if it were light.
� if you point a camera at people, you can ask them questions you would never ask them with the naked eye, & they will answer you as they never would otherwise. claudia used to say that, & she is right.
� video is radical, is anti-establishment, is anti-louvre. how can you commodify something that is not only four-dimensional but also intended to be reproduced?
� there is enough room, visually & temporally, for all the connections i want to make.
� it built this insta-bond between my father & me. when i was a small person, he was a telejournalist. when i became a tall person, we had nothing in common. but when i started doing video, he could talk to me about craft & i miss that.
� i admit: i like anything (including the microfilm machine at work, & the ultrasound machine too) that involves a jog wheel. mmmmm.
� but mostly what i miss is the way video forced me to connect to things. when i look through the lens i feel a part of what i see, in ways that i do not when the camera is not there anymore. in stepping back i stepped in.
� & really what i miss is editing. i miss those nights i would stay awake until dawn in the video suites in bexley, with the feeling that i was hooked up to the deck by long cables from my wrists, my fingers, my eyes, my ears, the top of my head. like science fiction. when i would leave i would feel empty, disconnected, i no longer knew how to walk around. i long for that connection. i sit at this computer sometimes & hope for the same thing. it is not the same.
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:what do i want what do i want
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:i want my brother to come to visit, & i want to take him around like a trick pony to show to all my friends. maybe he could never live up to the excellent reputation i give him. (but he lives up to it to me. why not to them.)
