this is how the connexions are spinning today:
last night for the sake of a catharsis i put myself through dancer in the dark & at the end i actually screamed & curled into a ball; i wonder will i ever be callous at that end; no.
tonight an e-mail from ananikko & my heart split open from it; bean says "you will only grow further apart" & i say "i know" but then at the slightest word my heart falls into sections.
in the background chris was watching heavenly creatures, i had to leave before the end.
[sidenote: when i first met addiest she kept saying "you are just like pauline in this movie" so when i saw heavenly creatures for the first time i probably screamed & curled up into a ball for a few hours. i thought addie was right. i was afraid.]
i came home & put on out of time.
maybe i had too much caffeine or maybe more catharsis is needed.
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:
seems a shame to
waste your time with me
left me to love
what it's doing to me
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:this morning i went to mass at the cathedral before work. at work i sat around & rubbed my eyes. & waited. & waited. i read the end of the sign of jonas, the bit about the Fire Watch, & swooned.
i skipped the part about love
it seems so shallow + low
i like your hands
all full of glory
ALL FULL OF GLORY
