i can't wait till we take our blood test / oh baby let's take our blood test now
billy bragg :::: the warmest room
i have been on a constant caffeine-induced buzz ever since sunday afternoon. i don't want to think about coca-cola any more. i've been out of my head, out of my tree, for all those days & just ask mischka, it's like i've been taken over. taken hostage. possessed. i've got to get off the caffeine, remove the caffeine.
a few years ago, i wasn't allowed to eat chocolate even, too strong for my blood they said. a few years ago, there was a big argument over Whether Ricka Experiences Mania. (no, they decided. stay off the chocolate though.)
so no, it's not mania, it's caffeine that's gotten me through all these days of cinderellaing myself to make the house look better. bean has declared that �our� new year promise thang is not to live in filth (good for her, i say), but i don't like to make new year promise thangs. i'd rather make a random Attempt At Having Principles at some minor, ritually significant point in the year, when i wake up & realize i want to be � something vauge here::: � better. ����that's not the point! the point is that i've been hyper enough to clean the kitchen & any of you who might have seen my kitchen recently know: that requires a great deal of caffeine indeed.
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:lovely j wrote about boys today, fey ones. (it makes me smile because, as i said to bean, i should have known she was gay since the only boys she ever drooled about were oscar wilde & michael stipe. [they are plenty fey. as fey as they come.]) lovely j mentions several swoonboy subjects & subsets near+dear to my own orange heart: namely, tease-ish friend boys & boys who have been ordained. such as, ahem, one particular monk-who-wears-red-socks-and-sandals at gethsemani. i just can't stop thinking about his hands.
some dyke i am. some devout catholic, too.
:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:last night i didn't go to the fund board-of-directors meeting & tonight i am sitting here not going to RCIA. (i don't need to know about the sacrament of marriage, or christian family, since i can't marry bean & want to join an order anyway), because i have a sore throat which i probably also gave to mischka & all my patients this week at work. i've been going through lemon tea, & honey, & orangejuice like a mad girl. like the redthroated girl i have become.
(& ::::bee just called to tell me that i have been appointed the new Volunteer Coordinator for the fund. this sounds like a marvellous appointment even though i know that i have it just because no one else wanted it & i [after all, see above] wasn't at the meeting last night.)
for my throat i am making soup for healing it & i am waiting for bean to come home, besides. i have been listening to happy music (billy bragg, belle + sebastian) & i am listening to happy music now. it is very comfortable in this cleaning-up house with the smell of tamari|vinegar|redchile & if only i could get over this caffeine & over this redthroat it would be perfect.
do something pretty while you can / don't fall asleep / skating a pirouette on ice is cool //// do something pretty while you can / don't be afraid / reading the gospel to yourself is fine
belle + sebastian :::: we rule the school
